Ok. I know I'm probably going to catch some flak for watching "Twilight" but, honestly I must say It's really good, you guys.
First, I'm really confused as to why so many teenage girls like it. I mean Paul Newman was really a good lookin' fella in his prime, but by '98 he was maybe a little old for the tween set. The movie is basically about this aging private detective who ends up through an odd series of events including him getting shot in the thigh (remember this part its important later) living in the guest room of some retired movie producers or something played by Gene Hackman and Susan Sarandon.
After the very beginning, this part is kinda boring. I mean Gene Hackman and Paul Newman are great together, but they are just sitting around playing games and stuff. Then, like outta nowhere, Gene Hackman asks Paul Newman to deliver a mysterious package. When he gets there this guy gets MURDERD! Whaaaaat?!!!! I really wasn't expecting that. So the cops come and take paul newman to the police station where he sees his old friends stockard channing and James Garner who heard that he got shot at the beginning of the movie but they heard that he got shot in the ... ahem.... and not the thigh. This is actually a pretty funny joke in context.
I really don't want to spoil anything else for you, but suffice it to say he ends up on a pretty complex ride as the package is only the first key to a extraordinary mysterydventure. (Ya see what I did there?)
I must reiterate that I am kind of confused since this didn't seem like the type of movie that would be fodder for 7th grade girls, but I guess I'm just out of touch. Maybe we're moving back to a place where kids idolize real talent and wisdom instead of the fleeting joys of youth.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
@Hot Tub Time Machine
Boy. I haven't been this disappointed in Holywood in a long time. Hot tub time machine really had the potential to be a fun throwback to the the 80s, which are my absolute favorite decade, both for music, movies and culture.
And in someways it was.
The problem is that this movie really wasn't about being happy. Movies that are supposed to be celebrations should be chock full of happy people! This movie is really more about suicide and emotional blackmail than it is about having a good time. Even at parts of the movie when people are trying to work through their issues by writing poetry doing things they enjoy, people make fun of them in the most homophobic of ways!
Not to mention, this movie seemed to me like it was atleast in someways marketed toward younger people and honestly, there was just so much drug use and self medication that I would have a really hard time reccomending that anyone who lacks the proper context for recreational drug use see this movie. This does not imply by anymeans that I condone recreational drug use especially in an attempt to "drown" sorrows but I even less condone children thinking this is an appropriate way to deal with problems. Plus they make it out that it is better to beat someone up for trying to do their job than it is to get beat up for stepping on someones Air Jordans. Just more bad messages for the kids.
In the end, all the characters are unlikeable and the movie itself is really not all that funny. It took me a while to write this review for just this reason. I actually felt less happy coming out of the theatre than I did going in, and I just couldn't make myself go over the material again. In fact, reading back over this movie review has just depressed me all over again.
Call me old fashioned but I really like movies that make me happy. And hot tub time machine just made me want to take a shower.
And in someways it was.
The problem is that this movie really wasn't about being happy. Movies that are supposed to be celebrations should be chock full of happy people! This movie is really more about suicide and emotional blackmail than it is about having a good time. Even at parts of the movie when people are trying to work through their issues by writing poetry doing things they enjoy, people make fun of them in the most homophobic of ways!
Not to mention, this movie seemed to me like it was atleast in someways marketed toward younger people and honestly, there was just so much drug use and self medication that I would have a really hard time reccomending that anyone who lacks the proper context for recreational drug use see this movie. This does not imply by anymeans that I condone recreational drug use especially in an attempt to "drown" sorrows but I even less condone children thinking this is an appropriate way to deal with problems. Plus they make it out that it is better to beat someone up for trying to do their job than it is to get beat up for stepping on someones Air Jordans. Just more bad messages for the kids.
In the end, all the characters are unlikeable and the movie itself is really not all that funny. It took me a while to write this review for just this reason. I actually felt less happy coming out of the theatre than I did going in, and I just couldn't make myself go over the material again. In fact, reading back over this movie review has just depressed me all over again.
Call me old fashioned but I really like movies that make me happy. And hot tub time machine just made me want to take a shower.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
@ Hot Tub Time Machine
Stay tuned! I will be @Hot Tub Time Machine later tonight and there will be a review to follow. I am so excited!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
@Frost/Nixon
Well I didn't like this movie at all. To begin with, the two main characters David Frost and Richard Noxin spoke in such a way that it was really hard for them to understand. Besides that, the movie is kind of unrealistic in that it implies that just because someone is super likable and suave, that he can beat an american president in a debate. I don't know about you, but I am getting pretty tired of this cool-guy-conquers-the-world template.
Frost looked like he hadn't worked a day in his life except to be funny and tell jokes and stuff on tv shows and then he was all hard on richard nixon. Plus the guy playing nixon didn't really look like the real nixon and used some salty language which I felt demeaned the office.
Also, why should a brittish guy who lives dewn-undah (~g'day mate!) give a crap about a fallen american prez? Who does he think he is trying to take down the guy who set up the first earth day in 1970?! I mean nixon worked his KEISTER off to get to where he was and then to have some petulant child tell him that he's a shyster? Really?
This movie left an extremely fowl taste in my mouth. I do not recommend anyone watch this movie whatsoever. To paraphrase some of the salty language fake nixon from the movie used, I hope the M***********s who made this movie CHOKE!
Also I think I'm going to start instituting a rating system to put numbers to how much I like movies. I'll call it the at system and it will range from zero to 5 ats (@). This movie gets a shocking zero ats.
Frost looked like he hadn't worked a day in his life except to be funny and tell jokes and stuff on tv shows and then he was all hard on richard nixon. Plus the guy playing nixon didn't really look like the real nixon and used some salty language which I felt demeaned the office.
Also, why should a brittish guy who lives dewn-undah (~g'day mate!) give a crap about a fallen american prez? Who does he think he is trying to take down the guy who set up the first earth day in 1970?! I mean nixon worked his KEISTER off to get to where he was and then to have some petulant child tell him that he's a shyster? Really?
This movie left an extremely fowl taste in my mouth. I do not recommend anyone watch this movie whatsoever. To paraphrase some of the salty language fake nixon from the movie used, I hope the M***********s who made this movie CHOKE!
Also I think I'm going to start instituting a rating system to put numbers to how much I like movies. I'll call it the at system and it will range from zero to 5 ats (@). This movie gets a shocking zero ats.
Monday, March 8, 2010
@JCVD
When I was younger, I used to love Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. What set his movies apart from Steven Segal or the Gov-ah-nator was that they had real heart. They always had amazing stories and you always left the theater feeling like you could take on the world.
In the past few years, however, I haven't been paying much attention to Van Damme because I tend not to pay much attention to movies that are released directly to video. For those of you who don't know, the reason movies get released only on video is because they are either A) not very good to begin with B) have too much sex for main stream movies or C) are really artsy-fartsy and don't have a chance to make any money.
JCVD, however does not fit any of these very well sometimes it's a little artsy-fatrsy), but I don't remember it ever coming out in theatres. This movie definitely shows me something. I am happy to say that Van Damme still has not only the karate moves, but the acting chops to really carry a movie.
You spend alot of this movie feeling bad for him. He really is just a victim of circumstance who has tried to attone for his past sins by just being a good guy and trying to get stuff going again. There are lots of funny jokes in this movie, including jokes about steven segal cutting off his pony tail and about how Van Dammes daughter is ashamed of him. That last one extempified the level of black humor that abounds in this film; you often find yourself laughing at Vandammes Expense but then feeling really bad for it.
Like I said, there are several parts that were a little to much for me, like when Van Damme has a look at the camera and pretty much begs americans to like him. You don't have to beg Jean-Claude! I like you very much!
In the past few years, however, I haven't been paying much attention to Van Damme because I tend not to pay much attention to movies that are released directly to video. For those of you who don't know, the reason movies get released only on video is because they are either A) not very good to begin with B) have too much sex for main stream movies or C) are really artsy-fartsy and don't have a chance to make any money.
JCVD, however does not fit any of these very well sometimes it's a little artsy-fatrsy), but I don't remember it ever coming out in theatres. This movie definitely shows me something. I am happy to say that Van Damme still has not only the karate moves, but the acting chops to really carry a movie.
You spend alot of this movie feeling bad for him. He really is just a victim of circumstance who has tried to attone for his past sins by just being a good guy and trying to get stuff going again. There are lots of funny jokes in this movie, including jokes about steven segal cutting off his pony tail and about how Van Dammes daughter is ashamed of him. That last one extempified the level of black humor that abounds in this film; you often find yourself laughing at Vandammes Expense but then feeling really bad for it.
Like I said, there are several parts that were a little to much for me, like when Van Damme has a look at the camera and pretty much begs americans to like him. You don't have to beg Jean-Claude! I like you very much!
Friday, March 5, 2010
@Gooby
I apologize for the almost 2 month break but I havn't really seen any movies that tickled me enough to write about them.
Untill tonight.
Its not hard to figure out that I'm a huge sucker for childrens movies with really nice stories. I had a pretty tough week at work and really just wanted to unwind with a couple of glasses of mulled wine, some left over valentines candy and a light movie. As I was walking through Blockbuster's, I ran across a little gem called "Gooby". I was intrigued by the cover which had a giant stuffed animal with a scarf hanging out with a little boy.
The main charachter is a pre-teen named Willie who has an overactive imaginiation. He dreams up things like space cars and thinks he sees monsters and stuff but that his house keeps him safe. All that gets flipped upside down on it's head when his parents tell him that they are moving to a new place. His mom suggests that he takes his old stuffed animal gooby with him to keep him safe and he's like "Mom! I'm not a baby!" and leaves Gooby behind. But then, to Willie (and my) surprise, Gooby comes to life and shows up at the new place!
Man oh Man do they have some adventures too! There is a career reviving supporting star turn by Eugene Levy as the new school teacher "Mr. Nerdlinger", a sucessfull childrens writer and author of the "Fleshington Fish" series. He is very concerned with being famous and believes that getting a picture of gooby will be just the ticket he needs.
At first I thought Gooby was just in Willie's imagination but it is very clear that he is a real thing, as he talks to many other characters, buys movie tickets for children to an R rated action movie.
After I watched the movie I talked to a couple of friends about it and when I described the plot they all made fun of it and said it sounded like it was a movie about a pedophile in a bear suit who goes from child to child, leaving when the kid gets too old or boring. This is absolute horse hockey. There is nothing at all indecent or purile at work here and gooby just loves kids and gives them self-confidence!
There are many great lines and screwball scenes in this movie. Gooby takes Willie to a costume party at a movie theatre and when a bully dressed like a hotdog tries to beat willie up, gooby scares him so bad that he pees himself and says "Willie, the hotdog just peed!". One of the more touching lines is when gooby tells Willie:"I liked being your dad!"
All in all I really liked this movie. Though it is a little difficult to write about I just really felt in my heart that this was a story that alot of people need to see and maybe wouldn't if I didn't bring it to their attention.
Untill tonight.
Its not hard to figure out that I'm a huge sucker for childrens movies with really nice stories. I had a pretty tough week at work and really just wanted to unwind with a couple of glasses of mulled wine, some left over valentines candy and a light movie. As I was walking through Blockbuster's, I ran across a little gem called "Gooby". I was intrigued by the cover which had a giant stuffed animal with a scarf hanging out with a little boy.
The main charachter is a pre-teen named Willie who has an overactive imaginiation. He dreams up things like space cars and thinks he sees monsters and stuff but that his house keeps him safe. All that gets flipped upside down on it's head when his parents tell him that they are moving to a new place. His mom suggests that he takes his old stuffed animal gooby with him to keep him safe and he's like "Mom! I'm not a baby!" and leaves Gooby behind. But then, to Willie (and my) surprise, Gooby comes to life and shows up at the new place!
Man oh Man do they have some adventures too! There is a career reviving supporting star turn by Eugene Levy as the new school teacher "Mr. Nerdlinger", a sucessfull childrens writer and author of the "Fleshington Fish" series. He is very concerned with being famous and believes that getting a picture of gooby will be just the ticket he needs.
At first I thought Gooby was just in Willie's imagination but it is very clear that he is a real thing, as he talks to many other characters, buys movie tickets for children to an R rated action movie.
After I watched the movie I talked to a couple of friends about it and when I described the plot they all made fun of it and said it sounded like it was a movie about a pedophile in a bear suit who goes from child to child, leaving when the kid gets too old or boring. This is absolute horse hockey. There is nothing at all indecent or purile at work here and gooby just loves kids and gives them self-confidence!
There are many great lines and screwball scenes in this movie. Gooby takes Willie to a costume party at a movie theatre and when a bully dressed like a hotdog tries to beat willie up, gooby scares him so bad that he pees himself and says "Willie, the hotdog just peed!". One of the more touching lines is when gooby tells Willie:"I liked being your dad!"
All in all I really liked this movie. Though it is a little difficult to write about I just really felt in my heart that this was a story that alot of people need to see and maybe wouldn't if I didn't bring it to their attention.
Monday, January 4, 2010
@ 2009
So it may be a few days late but 2009 was such a great year for movies that I just couldn't decide on my 10 faves. I will try to review them in what I believe to be the order they were released so as not to hurt any feelings.
Paul Blart Mall Cop
I always enjoy trying to spot product placements in movies and this movie had it all. It is set in a shopping mall environment and features real live stores! It was an ingenious place to set a movie that you intend to put lots of product placements in because the setting makes the placements much less obvious. Kudos to the director for thinking of that. There was a scene in a victorias secret as well which any red blooded american male will like. The main character is obviously a mall cop who is set up to be an underdog. Without giving anything away, he certainly overcomes some tremendous odds. There are plenty of humorous pratfalls and silliness to delight the kid in each and everyone of us.
Push
This sci fi thriller features about psycic teens has lots of cool special effects and even some neat fight scenes. I thought the premise, that the government was trying to use a drug to create an army of supersoldiers was really novel, and that the choice to make the superheroes all teenagers made it even more tense. I didn't expect much out of this move but I was blown away by how powerful the story was. It is a little scary at some times because there are points when you don't know if some of the characters will make it or not and far be it from me to spoil any of these exciting plot points for you. I just think it is an important story to tell and that there are many parallels between the movie and what is going on in the world today. Very timely and very good.
Prescious
This is a powerful, painful account of an ugly girl's struggle to make something of her self. Honestly, after I walked out of this movie I was a completely changed person. I thought to my self that if she can do so much with so little that I can do a ton with what G-d has granted me.
I really didn't expect to see so many actual real life musicians lending their acting talents to such an unknown and un anticipated story, but I am so glad they did. It also proved to me that Mariah Carey not only has great singing chops, but acting chops as well. I am not ashamed to say that I bawled like a baby after I got home and started thinking about how much this movie has and will do for me.
Obsessed
WOW. I love Beyonce Noles. Not only is she really pretty, but you can tell from her acting in this movie that she will make a really good mother to her baby. She cares so much, that it's hard to imagine that there is not something behind it all. Her husband was played by the guy who took over the office in the office when Michael left to start his own company and, though I didn't like him very much on the show, he was really good in this movie. Like Push, it has a really original story that will keep you guessing at every twist and turn of the quite circuitous plot.
Year 1
I have heard some people say that this movie was stupid because people didn't speak english back in prehistoric times. But honestly I think this is just one of the things that makes this movie really really funny and absurd. Jack Black plays a hunter and this weenie little kid plays a gatherer and they go around starting their own tribe after one of them eats from the tree of knowledge. Then they have to go save these pretty ladies they liked from their old tribe after they are kidnapped and sold into slavery. I know this doesn't sound really all that funny the way I am describing it but there is clearly a lot of chemistry between black and the weenie kid. There are lots of fun slapstick jokes and even more touching moments later on in the movie to give it the perfect mix of laughter and heart.
The Ugly Truth
The poster tells you everything you need to know. Gerard butler is holding the heart over his eh-hem and Izzy from Greys Anatomy is holding it near her head. This really is a clever metaphor for how these two mis-matched matches interact with each other...to hilarious results!!! Gerard has a talk show and Izzy is a morning show anchor who is all upset about having crappy dates. Thus when she sees the show one night she calls and argues with him about his cynical perspective on women. When Izzy finds out that her show has bad ratings the bosses bring on Gerard as a counterpoint. At first they don't like each other at all but in the end they realize that it is our differences that bring us closer! The ugly truth is that this is a great, hilarious romantic comedy.
District 9
Wow. There are a ton of really great special effects in this movie. The aliens were pretty creepy at first, but when you find out that they are actually pretty friendly if you treat them OK, the movie becomes a whole lot more enjoyable. The best part about this is that the main guy, named Wickus (such a cool name), slowly is turning into one of the aliens (they call them prongs or something in the movie). This makes him (and the audience) very sympathetic to the cause of the aliens. It has an extremely bittersweet ending, but all in all I would say this is a beautiful movie. However, I must warn that it does have a lot of violence. I know some of my readers aren't huge violence fans and they may want to skip this one, but I promise it's worth it.
All about Steve
I just love sandra bullock and she is in top form in this laff-fest. She plays a crossword puzzle writer who is really book smart but not smart socially. This makes her dating life kind of hard until she meets Bradley cooper on a blind date. They are so funny together and have even more chemistry that Butler and Izzy had in The Ugly Truth. She is totally obsessed with him and in the end learns that she doesn't need to change to fit society because there are lots of crazy socially inept people who will be your friend just the way you are. What a great message!
The Informant?
I thought this movie would be a comedy, but infact it was actually a pretty serious drama about someone with manic depression. It's about what happens when someone tries to do a good deed (even if it was prompted by his wife) and be a decent person but gets taken advantage of. Matt Damon gives a Tour de force performance as out of control informant Mark Whitacre and Scott Bakula is stellar as the FBI agent who gets caught up in the crap sandwich caused by Matt Damon's character's inability to deal with pressure. This is a disturbing and poigniant portrait of mental illness.
Avatar
You know why. See the review @avatar above.
Paul Blart Mall Cop
I always enjoy trying to spot product placements in movies and this movie had it all. It is set in a shopping mall environment and features real live stores! It was an ingenious place to set a movie that you intend to put lots of product placements in because the setting makes the placements much less obvious. Kudos to the director for thinking of that. There was a scene in a victorias secret as well which any red blooded american male will like. The main character is obviously a mall cop who is set up to be an underdog. Without giving anything away, he certainly overcomes some tremendous odds. There are plenty of humorous pratfalls and silliness to delight the kid in each and everyone of us.
Push
This sci fi thriller features about psycic teens has lots of cool special effects and even some neat fight scenes. I thought the premise, that the government was trying to use a drug to create an army of supersoldiers was really novel, and that the choice to make the superheroes all teenagers made it even more tense. I didn't expect much out of this move but I was blown away by how powerful the story was. It is a little scary at some times because there are points when you don't know if some of the characters will make it or not and far be it from me to spoil any of these exciting plot points for you. I just think it is an important story to tell and that there are many parallels between the movie and what is going on in the world today. Very timely and very good.
Prescious
This is a powerful, painful account of an ugly girl's struggle to make something of her self. Honestly, after I walked out of this movie I was a completely changed person. I thought to my self that if she can do so much with so little that I can do a ton with what G-d has granted me.
I really didn't expect to see so many actual real life musicians lending their acting talents to such an unknown and un anticipated story, but I am so glad they did. It also proved to me that Mariah Carey not only has great singing chops, but acting chops as well. I am not ashamed to say that I bawled like a baby after I got home and started thinking about how much this movie has and will do for me.
Obsessed
WOW. I love Beyonce Noles. Not only is she really pretty, but you can tell from her acting in this movie that she will make a really good mother to her baby. She cares so much, that it's hard to imagine that there is not something behind it all. Her husband was played by the guy who took over the office in the office when Michael left to start his own company and, though I didn't like him very much on the show, he was really good in this movie. Like Push, it has a really original story that will keep you guessing at every twist and turn of the quite circuitous plot.
Year 1
I have heard some people say that this movie was stupid because people didn't speak english back in prehistoric times. But honestly I think this is just one of the things that makes this movie really really funny and absurd. Jack Black plays a hunter and this weenie little kid plays a gatherer and they go around starting their own tribe after one of them eats from the tree of knowledge. Then they have to go save these pretty ladies they liked from their old tribe after they are kidnapped and sold into slavery. I know this doesn't sound really all that funny the way I am describing it but there is clearly a lot of chemistry between black and the weenie kid. There are lots of fun slapstick jokes and even more touching moments later on in the movie to give it the perfect mix of laughter and heart.
The Ugly Truth
The poster tells you everything you need to know. Gerard butler is holding the heart over his eh-hem and Izzy from Greys Anatomy is holding it near her head. This really is a clever metaphor for how these two mis-matched matches interact with each other...to hilarious results!!! Gerard has a talk show and Izzy is a morning show anchor who is all upset about having crappy dates. Thus when she sees the show one night she calls and argues with him about his cynical perspective on women. When Izzy finds out that her show has bad ratings the bosses bring on Gerard as a counterpoint. At first they don't like each other at all but in the end they realize that it is our differences that bring us closer! The ugly truth is that this is a great, hilarious romantic comedy.
District 9
Wow. There are a ton of really great special effects in this movie. The aliens were pretty creepy at first, but when you find out that they are actually pretty friendly if you treat them OK, the movie becomes a whole lot more enjoyable. The best part about this is that the main guy, named Wickus (such a cool name), slowly is turning into one of the aliens (they call them prongs or something in the movie). This makes him (and the audience) very sympathetic to the cause of the aliens. It has an extremely bittersweet ending, but all in all I would say this is a beautiful movie. However, I must warn that it does have a lot of violence. I know some of my readers aren't huge violence fans and they may want to skip this one, but I promise it's worth it.
All about Steve
I just love sandra bullock and she is in top form in this laff-fest. She plays a crossword puzzle writer who is really book smart but not smart socially. This makes her dating life kind of hard until she meets Bradley cooper on a blind date. They are so funny together and have even more chemistry that Butler and Izzy had in The Ugly Truth. She is totally obsessed with him and in the end learns that she doesn't need to change to fit society because there are lots of crazy socially inept people who will be your friend just the way you are. What a great message!
The Informant?
I thought this movie would be a comedy, but infact it was actually a pretty serious drama about someone with manic depression. It's about what happens when someone tries to do a good deed (even if it was prompted by his wife) and be a decent person but gets taken advantage of. Matt Damon gives a Tour de force performance as out of control informant Mark Whitacre and Scott Bakula is stellar as the FBI agent who gets caught up in the crap sandwich caused by Matt Damon's character's inability to deal with pressure. This is a disturbing and poigniant portrait of mental illness.
Avatar
You know why. See the review @avatar above.
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