@Twilight

Ok. I know I'm probably going to catch some flak for watching "Twilight" but, honestly I must say It's really good, you guys.

First, I'm really confused as to why so many teenage girls like it. I mean Paul Newman was really a good lookin' fella in his prime, but by '98 he was maybe a little old for the tween set. The movie is basically about this aging private detective who ends up through an odd series of events including him getting shot in the thigh (remember this part its important later) living in the guest room of some retired movie producers or something played by Gene Hackman and Susan Sarandon.
After the very beginning, this part is kinda boring. I mean Gene Hackman and Paul Newman are great together, but they are just sitting around playing games and stuff. Then, like outta nowhere, Gene Hackman asks Paul Newman to deliver a mysterious package. When he gets there this guy gets MURDERD! Whaaaaat?!!!! I really wasn't expecting that. So the cops come and take paul newman to the police station where he sees his old friends stockard channing and James Garner who heard that he got shot at the beginning of the movie but they heard that he got shot in the ... ahem.... and not the thigh. This is actually a pretty funny joke in context.

I really don't want to spoil anything else for you, but suffice it to say he ends up on a pretty complex ride as the package is only the first key to a extraordinary mysterydventure. (Ya see what I did there?)

I must reiterate that I am kind of confused since this didn't seem like the type of movie that would be fodder for 7th grade girls, but I guess I'm just out of touch. Maybe we're moving back to a place where kids idolize real talent and wisdom instead of the fleeting joys of youth.

@Hot Tub Time Machine

Boy. I haven't been this disappointed in Holywood in a long time. Hot tub time machine really had the potential to be a fun throwback to the the 80s, which are my absolute favorite decade, both for music, movies and culture.

And in someways it was.

The problem is that this movie really wasn't about being happy. Movies that are supposed to be celebrations should be chock full of happy people! This movie is really more about suicide and emotional blackmail than it is about having a good time. Even at parts of the movie when people are trying to work through their issues by writing poetry doing things they enjoy, people make fun of them in the most homophobic of ways!

Not to mention, this movie seemed to me like it was atleast in someways marketed toward younger people and honestly, there was just so much drug use and self medication that I would have a really hard time reccomending that anyone who lacks the proper context for recreational drug use see this movie. This does not imply by anymeans that I condone recreational drug use especially in an attempt to "drown" sorrows but I even less condone children thinking this is an appropriate way to deal with problems. Plus they make it out that it is better to beat someone up for trying to do their job than it is to get beat up for stepping on someones Air Jordans. Just more bad messages for the kids.

In the end, all the characters are unlikeable and the movie itself is really not all that funny. It took me a while to write this review for just this reason. I actually felt less happy coming out of the theatre than I did going in, and I just couldn't make myself go over the material again. In fact, reading back over this movie review has just depressed me all over again.

Call me old fashioned but I really like movies that make me happy. And hot tub time machine just made me want to take a shower.